


|| You Said Hey | dear evan hansen ||

by multi_phandom_trash, SellMyBonesForSapphireStones



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A Lot of Gay, F/F, Inspired by Love Simon, M/M, Model!Connor, connor murphy likes to swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-11-24 03:20:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multi_phandom_trash/pseuds/multi_phandom_trash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SellMyBonesForSapphireStones/pseuds/SellMyBonesForSapphireStones
Summary: cmurphy!offical: also, why are you ready to die?bishyandreadytodie: first of all, oh my fern.bishyandreadytodie: i...don't really have any friendscmurphy!offical: well, i'm your friend now~!!





	1. || i said hello | c.m ||

connor sat at the desk tucked away in his small office at home, scrolling through his social media with a bored expression. he had one hand propping up his head, head tied back up into a bun--one of his signature hairstyles--with glasses framing his blue and brown eyes. he turned his head, looking out the window into the wintery streets of new jersey.

he wanted to do something.

to get up and run. be a normal person without at least one person coming up and asking him if he was 'the actual connor murphy'.

of course he was.

but that's not what he wanted to be.

he looked back to his macbook, seeing another dm had been added to the hundreds.

just. fucking. great.

with a sigh, connor reluctantly opened the hundreds of fan, creepy, and sex maniac messages that he had put off looking at. he opened the newest, squinting at it. his expression morphed into a smile.

at least he started out good.

he took a second to think, then he started typing out a response.

_bishyandreadytodie: hey, connor! i know you won't be reading this because you probably have thousands of other better messages you could be responding to, but i'd like to say that i think you're a great person who's always made my day better! thank you for existing, connor!!! <3_

sent.

_cmurphy!official: hello! thank you for taking time out of your day to message me!! I hope you're having a lovely day~_

_cmurphy!official: also, why are you ready to die?_

a minute later, the reply came. 

_bishyandreadytodie: first of all oh my fern_

_bishyandreadytodie: i...don't have many friends._

_cmurphy!official: well, i'm your friend now~!!_

that was connor's first genuine smile in a while.


	2. || what’s your name? | e.h. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> evan couldn’t move. _connor fucking murphy wanted to be his friend _.__

evan sighed and tossed his phone on his bed, leaning back in his chair. he wasn’t expecting a reply, or anything for that matter, so when he heard a ‘ding!’ his whole body froze. with a hesitant glance, he reached out to grab his phone. 

_‘it’s probably just some random update’ _he thought to himself as he gripped the case. when he turned it on, his heart stopped.__

____

_instagram: cmurphy!official: hello! thank you for taking time out of your day to message me!! I hope you’re having a lovely day~_

____

_instagram: cmurphy!official: also, why are you ready to die?_

____

evan stared at his screen, then quickly shut it off. “holy crap,” he mumbled, his voice sounding unsure. he stood up, looking directly out his window. “this isn’t- connor murphy- i- _holy crap_ ,” evan raced back to his phone, still staring at it with disbelief. with shaking hands, he typed out a response.

____

_bishyandreadytodie: first of all oh my fern_

____

_bishyandreadytodie: i...don’t have many friends._

____

evan winced at his response, throwing his phone onto his bed and turning away. “i can’t believe i just did that. i actually talked to _th_ -“ he was cut off by another noise. he bit his lip and looked at the messages.

____

_cmurphy!official: well, i’m your friend now~!!_

____

evan couldn’t move. _connor fucking murphy wanted to be his friend_. he clasped his hands over his mouth as he giggled.

____

_you know, he just feels bad for you. i bet he says that to all his fans. you aren’t special._

____

evan shook his head, just wanting to be happy for one second. his fingers hovered over the keyboard, not knowing what to type. his hands quickly formed a response. he sent it and immediately threw his phone against his wall, praying that it didn’t break.

_bishyandreadytodie: thanks! i guess this means we’re going to have to talk more then_


	3. || better now | c.m. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he felt bad for this kid.  
> really bad.

connor winced at the next message.

there was no fucking way that he would be able to talk to this kid enough to be a friend, or even an acquaintance due to scheduling of photoshoots, tours, and all that bullshit.

no fucking way.

instead of letting this kid down, he reluctantly typed out a response.

_cmurphy!official: yep yep!_

he felt bad for this kid.

 _really_ bad.

connor sighed, leaning back in his black rolling chair. the sound of the front door opening startling him.

he resisted the urge to groan, getting up from his chair and closing his office door. he set his forehead against it, sucking in a breath.

 _it's okay._ he said to himself. _just put on that award winning smile, you fat fuck._

connor straightened, opening the door with a painted on smile. he walked downstairs, seeing his sister sitting on the couch.

"hey." he said, sitting on the bottom step. "how was shopping?"

"hot topic hooked me up with that weeb shit you like." zoe held out a bag with the hot topic logo on it. "here you go, mr. perfect."

connor huffed, standing up and swiping the bag out of zoe's hands. "it's not 'weeb shit' it's art. and i'm not perfect."

"tell that to your fan-base of over eleven million people, mostly pre-pubescent kids obsessed with you." zoe smirked, resting her head on her hand. "what's new, the actual hot topic?"

"depression. sleep deprivation. straight girls screaming about me. nothing new." the male grabbed a container of ice cream from the kitchen freezer along with two spoons, walking over and settling next to zoe on their old leather couch, which seemed out of place in the rather expensive house he and his family lived in. it provided a homey feel, and no one ever bothered to replace it.

zoe raised an eyebrow. "thrilling."

"not." the male groaned, his sister snickering.

the two sat there, talking about life and other stuff until they had to get more ice cream.


	4. || but then what? | e.h. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> evan _really_ started to freak out now.

evan frantically flipped through his book, trying not to think of his last message. after he didn't respond immediately, evan worried connor had gotten sick of him. even if it had been only three minutes of texting, he still wondered if connor wanted to be doing this in the first place, seeing as he works almost non-stop. as he tried to settle his nerves, he heard another notification. evan held his breath and slowly reached for his phone, seeing the message.

_cmurphy!official: yep yep!_

evan breathed out a sigh and typed his own response.

_bishyandreadytodie: nice !_

once he pressed 'send', he started to panic again.

_what if he actually doesn't want to be my friend? what if he's just saying that because he has no other option? besides, i can hardly hold a conversation, how am i supposed to start one? again!? he probably has too much time on his hands to text me anyway, so i should just try and forget about this. but what if he actually wants to be my friend? then he would start conversations. but what if he really has no time?_

evan _really_ started to freak out now. he blindly searched his floors for the book he was reading and almost cried in relief when he finally grasped it. he looked over at his phone for a couple seconds before deciding to shut it off. he didn't want to worry about this new "friendship" he supposedly had with connor. although this was something he'd imagine more times than he'd actually admit, he knew it seemed too good to be true. evan sat himself on his bed and opened his book, pushing the prior moments to the back of his mind.


	5. || le fuck | c.m. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he posted the selfie, captioning it as: "le fuck."  
> he had found the summary of his life.

after being a decent human being with his sister for once, connor dragged himself up to his room to update his shitty, overrated social media.

he was free off of work for once, but had no fucking idea how to spend it.

a loud meow interrupted his thoughts, his cat came waddling over to connor, plopping down on his lap. connor scratched behind the cat's ears, quickly unlocking his phone. 

"hi, battery. i know, i'm terrible for leaving you and i deserve to be pushed off the roof. i agree." he kissed the cat's head. 

yes, his cat was named batterypack. 

fuck you, it's normal.

he stared at the message that random kid had sent him, biting his lip. he should probably reply. try to be a decent human blob thing. but no, he was connor murphy. 

he was _anything_ but decent. 

connor flipped on the internet persona, typing out a reply. 

_cmurphy!offical: we could talk now, actually! i have the day off!_

_cmurphy!official: any ideas?_

god, he's awkward. 

connor cringed, and battery meowed again. he let out a prolonged sigh before lying down on his 'big bird nest', as zoe called it. 

he _really_ hated her sometimes. 

"alright battery, back to the instagrammy basic bitch." 

battery nuzzled connor's hand. 

"sometimes i feel like you're the only one who understands me, bp." he sighed. 

connor took a selfie of him and battery, lightly face-tuning it before looking down at his terribly chipped nails he hadn't redone in about two weeks. he probably should do that so he looked like he cared at least a little about his appearance. 

he posted the selfie, captioning it as: "le fuck." 

he had officially found the summary of his life.


	6. || take a break | e.h. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he constantly looked back at his phone, hoping he would get something, _anything_ to come up.

evan sat in bed, staring at his ceiling, wondering what to do. his family-friend jared usually forced him to come over on weekends, but evan didn't feel like facing him today. instead, he pulled out his computer and started to fill a page with random tree facts off the top of his head, something he did when he really had nothing to do. he constantly looked back at his phone, hoping he would get something, _anything_ to come up. after a couple of minutes, he decided to just go on a walk.

he hopped out of bed and slipped on his shoes, already fully dressed due to boredom, and stepped outside. evan walked a couple of blocks, looking at the time for the tenth time (noticing only 15 minutes had passed), and sighed. he jogged to a close bench and practically fell onto it. after partially closing his eyes, he felt his phone buzz. as he lifted it up, his heart sped up a little bit.

_cmurphy!official: we could talk now, actually! i have the day off!_

_cmurphy!official: any ideas?_

evan blushed and bit his tongue, typing out an answer. he looked it over a couple times before deleting it and starting over again. after doing that three times, he closed his eyes and lightly pressed 'send'. his eyes flew open, his hands getting progressively more sweaty as the seconds passed. once he saw that it sent, evan turned the phone off and shoved it in his pocket, hoping connor wouldn't reply.

_bishyandreadytodie: okay! we could maybe get to know each other better??_

taking his phone out, he stared at his message for a little bit longer, seeing that a few minutes had gone by. he switched to tumblr and started to think of what he was going to say next. he knew he was pretty boring and that connor would probably leave him shortly after this conversation, but he didn't really mind. he was fine having someone else to talk to, even if it was only for a couple of minutes. 


	7. || dead leaves | c.m. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "the dead leaves that are becoming shriveled  
> the silence inside your aloof heart  
> please don't fall  
> please don't fall, that dead leaf is becoming crumbs"  
> -dead leaves, BTS (방탄소년단)

connor sat at his window, tapping his finger against the sill. a cool breeze was tousling his hair, making it all the more messy. the mix of electric, upbeat and ballad kpop songs was calming him significantly, and his head was almost completely clear for once.

well, no.

his was thinking about how to respond to that message.

connor wasn't known to be the most socially...'perfect' person that had ever existed, yet people still loved him, somehow.

in short, he wasn't good at talking.

so, he picked up his phone, trying _not_ to sound like he was on drugs or something.

maybe he was.

he doesn't remember.

_cmurphy!official: you probably know all about me._

_cmurphy!offical: how about you?_

the music playing seemed louder than before.

was he high?

"please don't fall, that dead leaf is becoming crumbs." his speakers echoed.

"marry me, min yoongi." he sighed, resting his head between his arms

his window stayed closed until he heard the soft pitter patter of rain, shriveled leaves rushing past his window.

it opened.


	8. || what more can i say | e.h. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _he leaned back into the cold wood that supported him and rethought the many ways their conversation could progress._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops sorry for not updating in forever (and for the very short and bad chapter); i have absolutely no motivation so yeah sorry again

evan stared out at the landscape in front of him, thinking of the many replies he could type out. this didn't help, though, in any way to settle his nerves, since he still had to choose one _and_ type it out. the chirping of a bird in a nearby tree snapped him back into reality, his phone still in his hands.

_i could tell him my favorite color? or my favorite bands, but that'll probably make him hate me more than he already does, or just make him bored._

evan sighed and typed out something, not really caring what he said, and quickly turned off his phone. he leaned back into the cold wood that supported him and rethought the many ways their conversation could progress. connor could either say something else that he could answer to or evan would have to come up with a different question to keep them intrigued.

_what's going to happen after this? am i going to have to start a conversation next time? how is this conversation even gonna end? is he still going to want to talk with me after learning how boring i am?_

a yell from a few yards away dragged him out of his thoughts once again as he decided to walk home to take his mind off of this strange relationship.


	9. || if you close your eyes | z.m. ||

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zoe thought that if you just close your eyes, then everything will be okay.
> 
> || sorry that it's so short skskks- ||

zoe thought that if you just close your eyes, then everything will be okay.

that if you close your eyes, something that was wrong would be fixed.

but no.

she wasn't pretty, her brother still wanted death, she didn't know if alana liked her, and her parents still didn't try.

...did connor feel like this too?

did it always feel like nothing changed at all?


End file.
